Every school day morning, I drive my 4 kids into Manhattan with me. We drive across the RFK bridge, and bend towards 125th Street. Every day, we see a billboard with what is viewed as a beautiful woman. Often, these women are thin, blonde, and White. Last week, my 5-year old son noticed something different. “Who is she Mommy? I mean, what’s her name?” At first, I had no clue what he was talking about. Then, I glanced up, since the light was still red, and I saw her. The woman who drew his attention was Ashley Graham.
Something about her grabbed his attention. It wasn’t that the billboard was gigantic, as he’d looked at the billboard before and asked about the jewelry being advertised. This time, however, he saw what many of us who are seldom reflected saw- he saw that media advertises products, and that sometimes, those products are messages about bodies.
Last year, I was fortunate enough to be interviewed by Chicago Tribune Journalist Leanne Italie. A friend had seen my gushing posts about Rihanna’s Fenty line and suggested I speak with Italie. I was 40 years old, and had JUST experienced a beauty euphoria I never thought possible. If you’ve never dealt with having to navigate what flesh-toned or nude looked like against your skin, you have little understanding of what it feels like to understand, viscerally, the commitment advertisers, media, and the beauty industry has to European standards of beauty. However, when I walked into Sephora and picked up a tube of Fenty foundation, everything changed. I’d been there before, got “matched,” and still experienced the sadness of not quite feeling comfortable, and definitely not feeling beautiful. But Rihanna was determined to be actively inclusive in what should be considered beautiful. For the first time, there was no yellow or orange outline. There was no feeling of resigning myself to what had to be. I finally saw me, and in seeing me, I saw beauty.
I’m glad it did not take my son 40 years to recognize and accept beauty in someone that did not look like who usually gets advertised. I hope the work I do helps more people see the beauty in themselves, and moreover, that they lose nothing by recognizing it in others as well.
